The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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