I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
