she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
