forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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