After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize