Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
