the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize