I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My brain says no but my pants say off.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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