I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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