You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Randomize
