Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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