I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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