WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
