I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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