I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
