too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
