Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
