Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
