PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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