You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
high people should be assigned attendants
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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