I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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