whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
