Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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