just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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