If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
