she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
