Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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