Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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