I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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