i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
