she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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