I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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