I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
