I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
