Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
