Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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