i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
