I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
