i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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