garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I love black thongs
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
