I need help removing her.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
