no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
