i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
