He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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