Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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