2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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