you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
