Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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