She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
