But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
so much tequila, so little girl.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
