All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
