So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
