i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
