do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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