i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
