She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
