My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
