I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
