im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
