all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
